What Kind of Parent Will I Be?

While working at the Discovery Gateway Children's Museum in Salt Lake City, I was amazed at the way many parents interacted with their kids. I'm going to preface this by saying that I'm not a parent and therefore don't have the experience/authority to say what is or isn't a good parenting style, and of course each family and kid is different. However, while working, I was able to observe many different parent-child relationships and was able to pick out ideas for what I do or don't want to do when I'm a parent (and again, that very well might change once I get there!). 

Two things really stood out to me. The first is how to establish who's the boss. The museum encourages guests to clean up after themselves so that the next people can have a good experience as well (and as an employee, it is EXHAUSTING to clean up the same mess over and over again). Sadly, most of the parents allowed their kids to run around like a hurricane and then moved them to a new area leaving destruction behind. Some parents allowed their kids to create a mess and then cleaned up for them while the kids moved on to something new. While I appreciated the parents' help, I felt that not asking their kids to help take responsibility for the mess, was really telling them that their parents would always be there to clean up; they should just have fun. Along the same lines, I once heard a conversation between two parents and their three year old that went something like this: 

Parents: Let's go get some lunch and then we can come back.Three year old: No! I want to play!Parents: But we're hungry, let's go get lunch.Three year old: I don't want lunch! I want to play!

They stayed and played for at least another hour...Now don't get me wrong, I believe in letting kids play, and I think parents should take into consideration children's wants, but in the end, you make the decision and need to be firm. Especially when it's a situation like this where lunch is a necessary thing (and it would have been a late lunch already at this point) and they were still able to come back and finish exploring afterward. It just makes me feel like this three year old is going to become a teenager who gets into trouble because her parents can't say no and lay down the rules.

The second thing I noticed was that kids are being neglected because their parents are too busy with their phones. SO many parents found somewhere to sit down and spent the whole time on their phone while their kids played. Some kids seemed to be okay with that, but others desperately wanted the attention. One example: a little girl who kept glancing at her mom, hoping she would notice the thing she'd proudly just built, and trying to get her attention until finally yelling "Mom! Stop texting and look at me!" I understand that sometimes parents are busy, but when your kid keeps coming up to you saying "come look at this", or tugging on your arm and you don't even look up, there's a problem. 

Lest you give up on society completely, there were a lot of great parents as well. They helped do crafts, put on ridiculous costumes, sat in too small chairs in the play house, taught them how to go shopping, etc. They complimented them on pictures that looked like a bunch of scribbles. They allowed their kid to do the same task over and over again because the kid found it exciting even though the parent was bored after the first time through. And they kept a smile the whole time. That is the kind of parent I hope to be. I want my kids to believe they can do anything they set their mind to, but also teach them responsibility for their actions. I want them to respect me as an authority figure, but also know that I love them. Hopefully I'll be able to find that balance when I eventually have kids.

Picture that one girl drew at the museum.
Note the project name: Death and World Domination...

Summer Lasts Forever...ish

I had the realization the other day, that I'm not going back to school in the fall. My summer reading list just became a life reading list! But since my current list is a pretty well rounded list, I'll continue with the updates until I'm done, then just give the occasional good review. 

Stardust, Neil Gaiman
One or two "scenes" that were too sexual (Really people? What's up with this?) but other than that, pretty good. It wasn't nearly as exciting as I thought it would be (based off the movie trailer :P), but the story was different enough to keep me interested.

A Wrinkle in Time, Madeleine L'Engle
SO weird! I finished and had no idea what to feel. At times it had a religious/Chronicles of Narnia sort of feel but the rest of it was just strange. Also there was a lot of action leading to a very abrupt "happy" ending. Overall, the book reminded me of Captain EO at Disneyland...but without the great (though ridiculous) music and dance number.

The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Different, but interesting. I really liked the ideas it had that make you look at the world in a different way. The illustrations reminded me a bit of the Harold and the Purple Crayon series. :)

The Judgment of Paris, Ross King
I cheated and didn't actually read this book. I got to the library, flipped through it and just wasn't feeling it. I noticed that Ross King had written similar books so instead I read

Michelangelo and the Pope's Ceiling, Ross King
This was a really interesting non-fiction book that combines history, politics, psychology, sociology and art history to create a narrative that feels more like fiction than a textbook. It looks at all the reasons behind the pope's decision to have the ceiling decorated, how Michelangelo felt about the commission (spoiler: he wasn't thrilled about it at first), what impeded the work, the relationship between Michelangelo and the pope, etc. Very interesting! At least if you're into art and/or history.

Reading List update

Here's an update on my reading list so far: 

*Just a note: the following comments are all my OPINION. I like or dislike books for reasons you may not agree with. I'm happy to have a discussion about our differences, but only if we can do it politely. Also, I'm not judging anyone who does like things that I don't.*

My Name Used to be Muhammad by Tito Momen and Jeff Benedict

This book was an interesting look into the life of someone who grew up in a radical Muslim environment. Normally we get books trying to show us that not all Muslims are evil and this book still did that, but also showed how scary it was to grow up surrounded by future supporters of Al Qaeda. I had hoped it would spend a bit more time on his conversion to the LDS church, but overall it was still a great book.

 I am Number Four, Pittacus Lore

Entertaining. In my opinion, not very original; kind of reminded me of the Pendragon series. I'll probably eventually read the rest of the series, but I'm not in a huge rush to do it.

Water for Elephants, Sara Gruen

Way too sexual in a voyeuristic way for my taste, so I didn't finish it. Maybe the rest of the book gets better, but I just didn't like the way things were handled in the first 6 or 7 chapters so I stopped.

Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert

FANTASTIC book! If anyone is on a spiritual journey of sorts or trying to "find themselves", I highly recommend this book. While I don't agree with everything she says or does, she has a lot of good insights into life. Lots of great ideas about how to find balance in your life and become closer to God. I started keeping a list of ideas and you just might see a blog post completely devoted to this book! 

Death Comes to Pemberley, P.D. James

I was impressed  with how well the author stayed true to the characters and language of Pride and Prejudice (though I didn't like the portrayal of Colonel Fitzwilliam as much). I really liked this book and didn't want to put it down until I finished. Maybe other Jane Austen fans will hate me for this, but the author briefly mentions characters from Emma in the last chapter and I thought "Really?? You were doing so well! Creating a good spinoff of a classic book is an accomplishment, but combining an author's books should be left to fan fiction." That aside, I really did like this book a lot.

One of my favorite things to do in the summer is lay out in the sun and read.

The Ocean

I love the ocean. I love the way it looks, sounds, smells, and feels. Today I decided that no matter where I end up in life, I will make a point to regularly visit the ocean. Preferably in California. 

Today I went to Crystal Cove State Park for the first time and it was a great experience. There are tide pools to explore and since it's a state park (or maybe since it was a Sunday) it was fairly empty. It was different from other beaches where the point is to soak up the sun, surf, swim, play volleyball, etc. Instead you were there to enjoy nature. 

I had two thoughts while there. The first was how good the ocean is for my soul. There's just something about it that is so calm and lulling. It lets me slow down, sit back, and just take it all in. I'm able to think and reflect.

 The second though I had was of God's great power and how incredible His creations are. In looking out at the ocean I was amazed by the fact that I couldn't see an end, and that I was only seeing a small part of it. I can't even comprehend the vastness of the ocean let alone the whole world, the universe, and all other worlds. 

The ocean, in all it's majesty...

 and beauty...

reminds me of both God's power and His love for us in creating such beautiful things for our enjoyment. And that is why I need to regularly visit the ocean. Because it cleanses my soul and brings me closer to my Heavenly Father.

Summer Reading List

Normally school and work take up so much of my time, that any free time I have is devoted to TV, or movies, or the internet. With only 2 finals to prepare for, no homework, and a super light work schedule, I have a lot more free time. And I've found that I'm bored with TV and the internet. So I decided to start on my summer reading list. Beginning with re-reading The Three Musketeers. I'd forgotten how witty it is. There are some really good lines that seem to come out of no where and surprise you. Anyway....for those of you looking for ideas for your own reading list, here's mine. I can't guarantee that they're good since I haven't read them, but I'll keep you posted!

• My Name Used to be Muhammad by Tito Momen and Jeff Benedict
• I am Number Four, Pittacus Lore
• Water for Elephants, Sara Gruen
• Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert
• The Essentials of Business Etiquette: How to Eat, Greet, and Tweet Your Way to Success, Barbara Pachter
• The Judgment of Paris, Ross King
• How to Be Interesting, Jessica Hagy
• Death Comes to Pemberley, P.D. James
• Entwined, Heather Dixon
• Stardust, Neil Gaiman
• A Wrinkle in Time, Madeleine L'Engle
• The Age of Innocence, Edith Wharton
• The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
• Divergent, Veronica Roth
• Twilight series, Stephenie Meyer
• The Mortal Instruments series, Cassandra Clare

I'm trying to get a good mix of genres, as well as contemporaries and classics. I've also added a few non-fiction/self-help which I've never really been interested in before but thought I'd give them a shot. I've already read Twilight and Mortal Instruments, but I'm throwing them in because I love them. :)

Born to Stand Out

I'm pretty sure Theodor Seuss Geisel is Mormon now. I love his quote: 

"Why fit in when you were born to stand out."

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we are often told to be part of the world, but not of the world.  We are all sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father and potential gods and goddesses. We are destined for greatness and need to let our light shine. That can not happen if we try to hide that light in order to become like everyone else. 

Marianne Williamson said:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us."

As I figure out what to do with my life, I have an opportunity to really discover myself and become who I was meant to be. I'm going to work on not caring what people think as long as I'm happy with myself. After all, why fit in when I was born to stand out?

On the Brink of Change

I've been meaning to start a blog for a few weeks now, but tonight I got the push to finally do it. 

This semester my roommate got me hooked on Gilmore Girls. I've grown to love the characters and I've often laughed and groaned and even wanted to cry. Tonight I watched the final episode where Rory has graduated college and is moving on with her life. It really hit home since I am in the last weeks of my last semester at BYU. Like her, I have decisions to make and I really don't know where my life is headed. Life has not turned out the way I thought it would, but it's still good. I had a similar experience on the brink of graduating high school. At that point too, I didn't know what was going to happen and life was heading in an unexpected direction. But in the end, my experiences here at BYU have been fantastic. Most importantly, I have made life long friends.  

In trying to make decisions and figure everything out, I've been relying on a scripture from the Book of Mormon: 

"And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shal send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall." --Helaman 5:12  

This has helped me remember to read my scriptures and pray first and other things will fall into place. I'm trying to build a secure foundation because my legs are feeling pretty shaky right now. 

So now here, on the brink of change, I may be scared of what the future will bring, but I'm also hopeful. Life is always changing and in the words of Walt Disney, I need to "keep moving forward."